Self-Talk.

        I thought of checking the blog today, for some reason. It's also because I consider this blog as a walk down the memory lane, where I study the old me. I study how the old me conversed, thought, and produce perspectives, which, I have come to realise, have changed in the course of two years. <--- also the reason why I keep a journal and jot down my feelings, just so, you know, I can open that journal, and this blog, and say to myself, "Oh, so this was me before". I expect the audience to be one as I intend to write about my academic plans, and that will be me.

        So much have happened in the past 2 years. I have forgotten what Kràlovna means, and I thought I was looking at someone else's blog. I have successfully graduated from my high school and completed SPM in 2015. I would have updated about both events, but the 2015 me was too busy studying and revising (while playing Dota 2 weeks before SPM commenced). Alhamdulillah, I achieved straight A+ for my SPM. It was much, much more glorious than I have expected, given the circumstances that I faced during the week where I have to answer Add Maths, Physics and Chemistry. I considered it as a reward and blessing from Allah SWT for my continuos effort and self-control. Let me tell you, after I received my results, the world doesn't seem so dull anymore.

       I applied for scholarships, received calls for interviews, and I did land some of the scholarships but I declined them, for I was offered different courses that I plan to pursue. The interviews gave me so many useful insights, a platform for me to make new acquaintances, address my own strength and improve my weakness. Through them, I realised that people aren't so bad. So now, I have chosen to accept the JPA's Bursary and study A Level at a renown college. I know, I know, A Level is tough. There's no more slacking in studies, and I have to work hard and smart to achieve the grades that I hope will ease my way to apply to top UK universities.

       I plan to take Chemistry (don't know how my life would be without this subject), Physics, Pure Mathematics, and Further Mathematics. I admit, and recognise, that I'm not necessarily a Mathematics' genius, and not a left-brainer. But I figured that I want to challenge myself, and get out of the comfort zone. I know it's really tough, but tough doesn't mean impossible. Cliché, I know. But over the years of my studies I have come upon a realisation, and agreement even, that those words hold a true meaning. You have not tried learning it, how are you able to say you aren't capable to do it? And even if, it IS hard, it does not indicate that you have to give 0 effort and pity yourself when the results are in. How long until you stop feeling sympathetic towards yourself and realise that everyone's moving ahead, and leaving you behind?

       The above sentence is motivational. I seem to be optimistic these days.

      I plan to pursue Chemical Engineering or Materials Science and Engineering, I haven't decided yet. But my A Level subjects will complement both courses, so I'm not worrying too much. I did a lot to persuade and sway my parents' opinion to not ask me to do medicine, or civil engineering. Apparently when I was being interviewed for a scholarship, the interviewer said that I'm perfect to be a consultant, for I am convincing (much).

     I am actually quite happy to be studying A Level, and it's primarily because I get to learn the subjects that I really love, in an in-depth outlook. I can't bear studying another minute of History or Biology anymore (sorry not sorry). I can have a clear path to understand the subjects better, and make use of the knowledge that I gain in some ways or another. Admittedly, I am greedy for knowledge. I want to learn everything : astronomy, law, financing, medicine, physics, mathematics. But I don't think I'll have a long lifespan of 300 years to learn all of them, so I'll stick with some of them.

      I can't wait.

P/S: Some of the students that I've encountered have asked me tips to excel in SPM. Mind you, I'm not trying to brag or say that I'm a know-it-all. I will write a comprehensive post for SPM tips in the next update and share my method. I don't care if no one's going to read it. When I was starting Form 5, I googled for SPM Tips. It turned out well. So I'm going to the same for other aspiring students who truly want help.

Updates

          The last post was published on December 11 2013. I am now updating on 12th June 2014. Man, I suck at blogging. So much for 'blogging is my new hobby' huh. I usually don't really know what to post since my life sucks and boring. But I kind of miss this blog so yeah. Just gonna update on things that have been going around in my life.

          I got straight A's for PMR. Man was I relieved and happy for that.Sleepless night, sacrificing 9GAG for tuition, ignoring small talks, staybacks at library. Gotta admit I kind of missed 2013. It was a lot of fun,no fake friends, just happy times I guess. It was...an overwhelming year after all.

         So now I'm in Form 4. I'm in pure science stream. My class is 4S4. I LOVEEEEEEEEE this class man. It's just the same as my previous one (3 Amal) but louder,noisier and crazier. I got to know and make new friends. My teachers are all pretty great. I also have a intense liking towards addmaths, which is kind of weird since I hate maths since I was in F1. I guess it's just different. I also discovered that I loathe physics. Man god know how much I hate that subject. It's driving me crazy because I can't really get ahold of it. But I'm trying my best to make physics work on me. 

         I guess this is the year where I started to get my life apart. Putting the pieces back to their original places. Everything is falling back to their positions. I concentrate more on my studies,I take care more of my health, I don't depress myself anymore, I make new friends and I stay away from fake people, I find new hobbies and good music ( I love 5 SECONDS OF SUMMER hashtag 5SOSFAM), I'm more relaxed and I don't get so worked out on small things. I'm more rational now. I'm starting to have a purpose in life, rather than going around mindlessly. I know, I know it's probably just a growing up phase but I like it. I'm having so much fun now. Rather than saying I hate my life before, I'm just gonna say that I really love my life now.

I hope you guys are having a good life as well. Take care x